This week saw the mighty Town facing a St Nicks team struggling in the League. We got out onto the pitch a bit late due to changing room conjestion. Blimey there was not even enough room to swing a mouse in there ... let alone a cat !!!! So the team had to change in shifts. The warm up had to be fast and quick (a bit like Adam S then, so the ladies tell me). So the manager was slightly worried we would not be ready for the start .... how wrong could he be. Within 1min 20 secs of the start Liam D put Adam S through on goal and we were off and running at 1-0. Surely this is the quickest goal of our history beating the previous record of 2 mins against Axa ....scored by Adam S again !!!!! Then after 12 mins the St Nicks defender sliding in took the ball with his hand and we were awarded a penalty. Forsh took the ball and as we all looked away he slotted the ball into the left hand side corner of the net ...... blimey he had scored (it must be Xmas) ....... 2-0. Then after 22 mins Liam D wanted to join the show and a cross from Adam S he headed the ball right into the top corner of the net .... lucky sod .... 3-0. After 26 mins Forsh put in Adam S who scored his 2nd .... 4-0. Then Adam S showing us he can play with anyone (ooh er misses) linked with Liam D to score his hat-trick. That was 5-0. The ref blew for half-time.

Now from previous reports you will know the manager always gets nervous with half-time talks because if he praises the team they go out 2nd half and play poorly. But it is nearly Xmas so he heaped praise on all the team telling them all how much he loved them and worshipped the ground they walk on. He asked them to keep another clean sheet and that would be fab. Oh why oh why did he do it !!!!!!

The second half kicked off and with just 6 mins gone so did our clean sheet. A free kick was given away and from the cross St Nicks scored with a long range effort .. 5-1. To make matters worse Forsh got an early Xmas present from the ref ..... a booking for giving the ref a piece of his mind ...... I told Forsh he cannot afford to give anymore of his mind away otherwise his IQ will be in negative numbers !!!! Thats a fine coming your way matey........ !!!
After 8 mins Forsh got back to concentrating on the football and scored after linking with Liam D ... 6-1. Then 25 mins James P (yes the goalie) put a long ball through to Ash L who ran through to get his first and to make the score 7-1. Just 3 mins later Marshal M went on a run, could not find the brakes, so carried on and on until he forced the ball over the line. Thats 8-1 now. Then after 30 mins Forsh completed his hat-trick after linking with Ash L ..... thats now 9-1. Now normal teams would shut up shop and take the goal difference ..... but not us, we just tank forward at every opportunity and suffered 2 late goals both from set plays, one a corner and another free kick. Final score 9-3.

Did I learn anything from todays match ........ of course I did.

We played on the main pitch at Sunnyside and the subs could actually sit on the bench today because there were 2 park benches on side of pitch. It only takes Adam S 3 mins to lose his brand new training top supplied by the club. It should be easy to find it has his initials on the front ... A.S.S. Keep a look out for it please. The team can score goals and today we scored plenty however we leaked 3 goals for the first time this season in the League and all from set plays ... blimey we must be turning into Arsenal ........ thats a shame. The result places us on top of the League but there is a long way to go in this season yet. I have had a request from Liam D to make sure I mention how many times he hit the woodwork ..... well it was a lot so we can now call him Woody The Woodpecker. Ash L does not want me to mention the 3 left foot crosses that went into the bushes .... but I will and we can now call him Kate Bush. It was great to see some of the football today, it was great to see we had smiles on our faces today and it was great to see us getting the goals that our football has been deserving. Its days like this I wish I could buy you all an early Xmas present .... but due to the credit crunch I cannot. But it is the thought that counts ........

Anyway as promised it is December now while I am writing this so I am allowed to put a joke in each week now. So here it is:

Luke T was stealing things in the Tesco store today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. He was charged with shop lifting on two counts.

Merry Xmas, see you at training.

Match report courtesy of Martin Lee